[spits onto the ground] I wouldn't drink that if I was you. Peter Marwood (I): Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day. They're selling hippie wigs in Woolworth's, man. He says he wont come in for lunch without an apology. It has felt like listening to a symphony and here comes the crescendo. Marwood: Then the fucker will rue the day! Withnail: You fill this with piss, take this pipe down the trouser and sellotape this valve to the end of the old chap. Just because the best tailoring you've ever seen is above your f***ing appendix doesn't mean anything! Dealt with them? Marwood stands there, petrified]. Danny: If you're hanging on to a rising balloon, you're presented with a difficult decision - let go before it's too late or hang on and keep getting higher, posing the question: how long can you keep a grip on the rope? [holding up a Fairy Liquid bottle with a strap and a tube]. I need at least an hour for lunch., Even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day. Give it a chance. Marwood: Monty: Don't be ridiculous. Withnail: Withnail : Right, you fucker, I'm going to do the washing up! It's full of brilliant quotable lines: "We've gone on holiday by mistake!" "My thumbs have gone weird". Find *anything*. Withnail: You got a rush. Press J to jump to the feed. Who is the huge spade in the bath? Jake: Now look, you. I think we've been in here too long. We want the finest wines available to humanity. If he comes into my room again, it's murder, and you'll be held responsible in law! All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. There is, youll agree, a certain je ne sais quoi oh so very special about a firm, young carrot.. Withnail: (Stirring) I deny all accusations. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight. Withnail: Danny: I don't advise a haircut, man. Withnail: The fuel and wood situation. His name's Presuming Ed. Wake up you bastard, or I burn this bastard bed down! Withnail: That means we'll miss out on Monday but come up smiling Tuesday morning. Why can't I have an audition? Nothing that reasonable members of society demand as their rights! Here it is: Movie Drone: I Heart - Withnail And I moviedroneblog.blogspot.com. Withnail: And here we are, we three, perhaps the last island of beauty in the world. Listen, we're bona fide. Marwood: Marwood: Yes, but if it rains, we're buggered. Alas I have little more than vintage wine and memories. For reasons I can't really discuss with you, he had to go to Jamaica. Marwood : No, no, you can't. It's impossible, I swear it. Peter Marwood: That's alright, I'll go alone. - Monty: Youre going to finish the vegetables. Look at him. Throwing themselves into the road gladly to escape all this hideousness! You want me to call whatshisname and ask him about his house? We live in a kingdom of reigns, where royalty comes in gangs. Marwood puts his hand on Withnail's shoulder, they've arrived at the cottage, it's cold and dark, amorously puts his hand on Marwood's arm as he peels vegetables, he pulls its head off and tips some pills out of it, stands barefoot, about to leave Withnail and Marwood's flat. What have you done to them? Don't suppose you've engaged, have you? Withnail: What's your name, MacFuck? Withnail: Marwood: It'll pass. And how dare you tell him I love you?! This ain't fancy dress." [overtaking a car on the motorway] [They drunkenly barge into some tearooms]. Bastard must have died. It's the only solution to this intense cold. Marwood: Now, come along, he's going to revitalise himself and you're going to finish the vegetables. And at the end, it seems Withnail is sad that Marwood is leaving him and regrets his choices. We're in the middle of a f***ing gale. Then you get horribly drunk and they can't fucking touch you. Go with it. Easily move forward or backward to get to the perfect clip. They are flat broke, so they move to the house of Withnail's uncle in the countryside. Of course you are! Look at him! Clearly a myth. It is the most shattering experience of a young man's life when one morning he awakes and quite reasonably says to himself "I will never play the Dane." Withnail: [cockily] [holding up a pill] Policeman 1: There's nothing out there except a hurricane. At some point or another I want to stop and get hold of a child. Withnail: I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth. Sinew in nicotine base. I've never met him. Maybe he's written this in some moment of drunken sincerity. Be seated. Do as he says. Withnail: I could take double anything you could! Danny: Now, which of you is going to be a splendid fellow and go down to the Rolls for the rest of the wine? I was gonna cook onions. The greatest decade in the history of mankind is over. It'll pass. Withnail: Marwood: Oh God, it's a nightmare, I tell you, it's a nightmare. I've always been fond of root crops but I only started to grow last summer. He's lent us his cottage. [Marwood knocks on the door of a farmhouse. Withnail: Jake: Ah! Withnail: What have you done to them? Soak up the booze. Pin By Lucy MckFunkdrick On Sunny Side | Withnail And I, Mens www.pinterest.com. Waitress: I'm starving. [removing his sunglasses] Especially that little pimp! I'll deal with the water and other plumbings, you can check the fuel and wood situation. Probably on a tenner a day, and I know what for! Marwood: Get out of it for a while. This is me, naked in a corner! These aren't accidents! Monty: (to the cat) you beastly little parasite how dare you, you little thug how dare you, arrgh beastly ungrateful little swine. Just you wait! I had to come. Marwood: Works the lake, but keep it under your hat, hm? It'll happen. We've gone on holiday by mistake. Withnail: Withnail: by Anonymous: . St Peter preached the epistles to the apostles looking like that. All right, this is the plan. I mean to have you, even if it must be burglary! Thought I was going for a minute. Quotes About Cool Kid (57 Quotes) www.quotemaster.org. You mustn't blame yourself. [smiling] And as Presuming Ed here has so consistently pointed out, we have failed to paint it black. What had I done to offend him? This page was last edited on 1 November 2022, at 17:35. [Withnail's lonely, aging homosexual uncle Monty has gone home, leaving a note humbly apologising for the desperate sexual advances he made on Marwood the night before]. I took drugs to win medals says top athlete Geoff Woade.". This most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave oerhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire, why, it appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours. He's going into your room. These mom & son quotes will help you describe your love for him. Why trust one drug and not the other? I'm in a park and I'm practically dead. [voiceover] [sticking out his yellowy tongue] withnail. This is a device enabling the drunken driver to operate in absolute safety. Laisse-moi, respirer, longtemps, longtemps, l'odeur de tes cheveux. Add spice to it. Listen, I pay you 10 percent to do that. Oh, don't tell me you're not aware of it, I know what you're up to and so do you. Where did you school? 10 quotes from Withnail and I: the Original Screenplay: 'We are indeed drifting into the arena of the unwell.' . Marwood: If you can't find anything, bring in the shed. Marwood: All right, this is the plan. I've only had a few ales. It's too hot so he drops it, on top of a hill, shouting into a valley, his voice echoing, Withnail's lonely, aging homosexual uncle Monty has gone home, leaving a note humbly apologising for the desperate sexual advances he made on Marwood the night before, Jake has left a dead hare hanging on the cottage door, along with a note, wakes up in the back seat of the car, which is moving along the motorway, he swerves dangerously through the motorway traffic, holding up a Fairy Liquid bottle with a strap and a tube, Marwood knocks on the door of a farmhouse. Talk:Withnail and I. How right you are, how right you are. How dare you tell him I'm a toilet trader! If you think you're going to have a weekend's indulgence up here at his expense, which means him having a weekend's indulgence up here at my expense, you got another thing coming. Withnail: How should I know where we are? Browse Recommendations; Choice Awards; Genres; Giveaways; New Releases; Genres Withnail: Bastard asked me to understudy Konstantin in The Seagull. I must go home at once and discuss his problems in depth. You been away? Screaming like a madman he moves towards the bull, which turns around and runs back through the gate. 'He used to pick on me. What we need is harmony, fresh air, stuff like that., Flowers are essentially tarts. The man was fined $10,000 and was ordered to pay $1,843 in restitution to Maine. The wankers don't drink it because they can't afford it. And if I spike you, you'll know you've been spoken to. When I strike they won't know what hit them! Monty: Flowers are essentially tarts. Sulking up the hill. Gi' me one in t' knee. Withnail: I think we'd better release you from the lgumes and transfer your talents to the meat. The only programme I'm likely to get on is the f***ing news. "I'm going to pull your head off, because I don't like your head.". The sky's beginning to bruise, night must fall and we shall be forced to camp. I might fetch you up a rabbit. In this case, it most certainly would not. If The Crow and Crown ever had life it was dead now. Withnail: 'Scuse me. Cake. And all at once those frozen hours, melt through the nervous system, and seep out the pores. Marwood: You want working on, boy! Withnail: Withnail: I assure I'm not [drunk], officer, honestly, I've only had a few light ales. I don't consciously offend big men like this. [holding him back] Brings back such memories of Oxford. Monty: Here hare here. How can it be so cold in here? Withnail: Marwood: Nonsense. Marwood: If you're hanging on to a rising balloon, you're presented with a difficult decision let go before it's too late or hang on and keep getting higher, posing the question: how long can you keep a grip on the rope? Free to those that can afford it, very expensive to those that can't. [toasting with a drink] Withnail: 100% Upvoted. The carrot has mystery. Jake: I thought they'd all be out the back, drinking cider and discussing butter. That's a very good idea. There is a hare tied to the door with a note attached. Withnail: I could hardly piss straight with fear. Look at this - accident blackspot? Withnail: I tried not to. Danny: echosmith cool quotes lyrics kid song yah crowd she straight lyric follow quotesgram sees them lines bord kiezen he sydney We do it wrong, being so majestical. Or do you shut yourself off from new experience? Quotes and one-liners: . Withnail: Withnail: - Washington Irving. Marwood: I'd never have wanted it, not with him in it! An expert on bulls you are not! Oh dear, no, no, no, I'd be sucked into his trap. It's like Greenland in here. Listen, I know what you're thinking but I had no alternative. Withnail and I is a TV program that first aired in 1970 . Marwood: Oh dear no no No, I'd be sucked into his trap! They're selling hippie wigs in Woolworths, man. Withnail: It is called a Camberwell Carrot. I'm in a park and I'm practically dead; what good's the countryside? Goes into court in his caftan and a bell. The entire sink's gone rotten. [Monty's Rolls-Royce pulls up outside the window]. To tutor it in the ways of righteousness, and procure some uncontaminated urine. There can be no true beauty without decay. Danny: Monty: You can use the left-hand menu to view some of the most popular quotes from the main Withnail and I characters . [stands barefoot, about to leave Withnail and Marwood's flat] What's in your hump? The purveyor of rare herbs and prescribed chemicals is back. I dislike relatives in general and in particular mine. Withnail: There must and shall be aspirin, or I shall die, here, on this f***ing mountainside! [while high on drugs] [the bull is scraping the ground with its front hoof, snorting]. Just because the best tailoring you've ever seen is above your f***ing appendix doesn't mean anything! . Is Marwood in love with Withnail? 4 Mar. How infinite in faculties! We've got to get some booze. He's so mauve, we don't know what he's planning. Withnail: Where is he? Come on lads, let's get home, the sky's beginning to bruise. The thermostats. Man delights not me. Tea Shop Proprietor: Withnail: Withnail hands Marwood the bag of shopping and jumps over the wall to safety. How dare you. No need to get uptight, man. Easily I must be out of my mind. Withnail: Balls, I'll swallow it and run a mile! I have a heart condition. I have just finished fighting a naked man! *I'll show the lot of you*! It takes away your appetite just looking at it. I've been watching you, especially you, prancing like a tit. [Mr Parkin is sitting on his tractor with one leg wrapped from thigh to ankle in a plastic fertiliser bag. The older order changeth, yielding place to new. Burnt! Tell him if you must, I no longer care. A coward you are, Withnail! Monty: [to the cat] you beastly little parasite how dare you, you little thug how dare you, arrgh beastly ungrateful little swine. Excuse me, we were wondering if we could purchase a pheasant off of you? you little traitors. Danny: Withnail hands Marwood the bag of shopping and jumps over the wall to safety. Here.". That's what you say. Marwood: I have just narrowly avoided having a buggering. Politics, man. Bastard asked me to understudy Konstantin in The Seagull. A little before your time. Withnail: You can stuff it up your arse for nothing and f*** off while you're doing it! I must have some booze. report. Grab its ring. Of course he's the fucking farmer! Director: Bruce Robinson Stars: Richard E. Grant, Paul McGann, Richard Griffiths Rating: Unrated Runtime: 107 minutes Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). [fondling the money Monty has given them to buy Wellingtons] Marwood: Here hare here!" Bruce Robinson, Withnail and I: the Original Screenplay. How dare you! Quite freaked me at the time. It's the only solution to this intense cold. How *dare* you! Withnail: How should I possibly know what we should do? "Oh no, please, don't pull my head off." Because if you do, I'll have to give you a dose of medicine. Withnail: You've had an audition. Withnail unfolds the note and hands it to Monty. I think an evening at The Crow. What happened to my cigar commercial? The purveyor of rare herbs and proscribed chemicals is back. Find helpful customer reviews and review ratings for Gold, Guns and God: Swami Bhaktipada and the West Virginia Hare . https://www.quotes.net/movies/withnail_and_i_quotes_14074. And if I spike you, you'll know you've been spoken to. Don't look, don't look! Marwood: Suits me. What should we do? [pulling some goo out of the sink] It's obsessed with its gut. Withnail: Rejuvenate! My heart's beating like a fucked clock! I happened to be looking for a suit for the Coalman two weeks ago. It's impossible to make a Camberwell Carrot with anything less. Danny: This may be the reason bald-headed men are uptight. Withnail: "Withnail and I Quotes." is the clip Thanks! He's an expert. Withnail: You will make it low. You been away? But old now, old. The Coalman had to go to Jamaica. I've looked into it. Sherry? Danny: Hair are your aerials. We are multimillionaires. Marwood: Dont vent your spleen on me. Have you met Jake? And I'm sitting in this bloody shack and I can't cope with Withnail. He had a weight under his fez. We want to get in there, don't we? There are things in there, there's a tea-bag growing! Especially that pimp! What the fuck do you mean? I can't. Withnail: [after coming out of a field, Withnail hasn't closed the gate properly, and a bull walks through it. This most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire, why, it appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapors! You don't deserve such loyalty. Just think of it with bacon across its back. What have you found? Marwood: When that moment comes, one's ambition ceases. Withnail: Keep your bag up. *Arrrgh*! [voiceover] We're working on a film up here. Oh, Christ almighty. Little tarts, they love it! [screwing his eyes shut in terror, moaning] tags: humour, withnail-i. Look at us! Marwood: I'm not going to understudy anybody. DRIVE WITH EXTREME CARE"] No, no, you can't. Uncle Monty: Oh, my boys, my boys, forgive me. This doesn't go down at all well. If you don't leave, we'll call the police. No fridges, no televisions, no phones. Tea Shop Proprietor: Right can anybody explain the here hare here joke from withnail and I? Alright, we're going to have to work quickly. [the man who called Marwood a ponce gets up and walks over to them. Withnail: I could take double anything you could! Marwood: Who says it's a Camberwell Carrot? Withnail: . Cos if you do, I'll have to give you a dose of medicine. We live in a land of weather forecasts and breakfasts that set in, shat on by Tories, shovelled up by Labour, and here we are, we three; perhaps the last island of beauty in the world. Sophocles. I think you've been punished enough. Withnail: Sulking up the hill. They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain. We mean no harm! You got a rush. Look out that window, if you see anything, anything at all, tell me. Just run at it! Marwood: We are not drunks, we are multi-millionaires! Uncle Monty: Oh! Do you like to experience all facets of life? Marwood: But sooner or later you've got to get out because it's crashing. Have another look in that shed. What's going on? Jake The Poacher: I been watching you, 'specially you, up on them moors prancing around like a tit. Danny: Danny: How can it be so cold in here? Withnail. Withnail: I'm in a park and I'm practically dead; what good's the countryside? Withnail: Sulking up the hill. Withnail: No you can't, I can't get my boots on when they're hot. Indeed, I remember my first agent. Withnail: Withnail: Monty: [takes pill out of doll] Trade: Pheno-dihydrochloride-benzorex. The old bugger's come a long way and I didn't want to put the wind up him. Sherry? Danny: I happened to be looking for a suit for The Coalman two weeks ago. [reading a newspaper] What is it? Uncle Monty: Come on lads, let's get home, the sky's beginning to bruise. Withnail: We want them here and we want them now! There can be no true beauty without decay. Withnail: Will it? Withnail: (Appalled) How dare you! Marwood: No you can't, listen to me, listen to me! Marwood: Withnail: Balls! What had I done to offend him? I'm good looking. I'm in considerable danger here, I must get out of here at once. Marwood: Wait till the morning, we'll go in together. Hare. Yarn is the best way to find video clips by quote. Sort of said it without thinking. How like an angel, in apprehension how like a god! Saint Peter preached the epistles to the apostles looking like that. Withnail: In that case, "To a delightful weekend in the country.". Here was a man with 3/4 of an inch of brain who'd taken a dislike to me. Wake up, you bastard or I burn this bastard bed down! Marwood: My thumbs have gone weird! St Peter preached the epistles to the apostles looking like that. It is a bond filled with trust, unconditional love, understanding, and support. "Oh no, please, don't pull my head off." We're in danger, we've got to get out. It's wearing a yellow sock. The only people he converses with are his clients and occasionally the police. We get in there and get wrecked, then we eat a pork pie, then we drop a couple of Surmontil-50s each. This boy's been out there frozen to the marrow and you just sit in here drinking. Withnail: You mean we've come out here in the middle of f***ing nowhere without aspirins? Half dead he may be, but I'll come up after you, and I'll wake you up with a live one. Marwood: Look at Geoff Woade! Marwood: (Takes the shotgun) Well let me tell you something, Withnail. Here, I dont want it. Your desires. Danny: If I medicined you, you'd think a brain tumour was a birthday present! Withnail: Withnail: [ruefully] What on Earth are those? Man delights not me, no, nor women neither. We're doing a feature for Country Life. *Fork it*! Throwing themselves into the road gladly to escape all this hideousness. What goods the countryside? Don't threaten me with a dead fish! That means we'll miss out Monday but come up smiling Tuesday morning. 2 pound 10 a tit and a fiver for his arse! [pulling back the lace curtain] This is ridiculous. Marwood: Then it was a rodent. How dare you call me inhumane! Withnail: It'll happen. You lose, you gain. I shall miss you too. Headhunter to everyone. As a youth I used to weep in butcher's shops. Withnail: You've got soup. Monty: I recommend you smoke some more grass. Withnail: Danny's here. Danny: [looking at a newspaper] She got a doll on Christmas what pisses itself. Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). We are not drunks, we are multimillionaires! Miss Blennerhassett, telephone the police. He slams it shut and slumps against it, shaken]. 1 likes. I'll swallow it and run a mile! Listen, I think you should strangle it instantly in case it starts trying to make friends with us. Don't vent spleen on me, I'm in the same boat! How can I possibly know what we should do? Monty: [offering Monty a glass] Monty: Evidently country people are no more receptive to strangers than city-dwellers. [teary-eyed] Withnail: It's impossible, I swear it. You are invited to spend an hilarious weekend in the English countryside. For some of us a quote becomes a mantra, a goal or a philosophy by which we live. Marwood: You're full of Scotch, you silly tool! It's society's crime, not ours. You don't understand. I know where you are, you're at Crow Crag. Danny: Cool your boots, man. Oh, how I tried not to. His sister give him the idea. Clip from Withnail & I Rest in happy peace Richard Griffiths ! You needn't explain, he's told me everything. We were wondering if we could possibly purchase a pheasant off of you. Withnail: Then the f***er will rue the day! What a piece of work is a man. And the Coalman looks at him and says "You think *you* look normal, your honour?" Nothing that reasonable members of society demand as their rights! Withnail is walking him to the station in the heavy rain, they stop and look at each other. Uncle Monty: Go with it. He told me that first day you came to Chelsea. It's trying to get itself in with you. Just say there are a couple of drunks in the Penrith tearooms and we want them removed. The man is rich and homosexual and he tries to persuade them, but he gives up because he's convinced there's something between them. We'll be found dead in here next spring. [high-pitched voice] I wondered if you could sell us some food. It's society's crime, not ours. Withnail: All right, this is the plan. [eyes filling with tears] Withnail: Jake: Marwood: There's the supper. Withnail: And as Presuming Ed here has so consistently pointed out, we have failed to paint it black. I mean to have you even if it must be burglary. We are indeed drifting into the arena of the unwell. [Danny offers Withnail his huge Camberwell Carrot spliff] I'm in the middle of a bloody overdose! 4 Mar. grant . We'll be back. All right here? Trade: Phenodihydrochloride benzorex. Withnail: Here comes another fucker! Marwood: A cat, and the rain Vim under the sink, and both bars on. Rejuvenate. No fridges, no televisions, no phones. He won't gore you. I feel unusual. [they've arrived at the cottage, it's cold and dark]. Well, that can't be sensible, can it? That is an unfortunate political decision. Marwood: Withnail: I will say one thing for Monty, he keeps a sensational cellar. Withnail: And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Marwood: Old suit? What happened to your cigar commercial? Jesus Christ! Now that represents a degree of hypocrisy I've hitherto suspected in you, but have not noticed due to highly evasive skills. The Withnail and I film script contains a virtually non-stop array of one-liners from all the main characters - and for this reason the film is often touted as being one of the most quotable films ever made. I think we've been in here too long. Uncle Monty: I've been preparing myself to forgive you. Danny: No, man. I feel unusual. I don't advise a haircut, man. Withnail: That's what you'd say, but that wouldn't wash with Geoff. Marwood: So he looks at the Coalman and says, "What's all this? Monty: Monty: Calm down. Hairs are your aerials. We'll have another pair of large scotches. I'll sleep here. Prostitutes for the bees. Withnail: I feel like a pig shat in my head. I have a heart condition, if you hit me it's murder. Why can't I get on television? Talk. Monty: let him get his drugs out! [referring to the radish on Monty's lapel] Always full of women staring out of windows, whining about ducks going to Moscow. It will pass. Dead down the drain? These are the best withnail and I quotes. Keep back, keep back! Beside there's nothing invented I couldn't take. Jake: This huge, thatched head with its earlobes and cannonball is now considered sane. Uncle Monty: Get that damned little swine out of here! Monty: Bates novel I'd read. I ain't got no pheasants, ain't got no birds. Withnail: Marwood stands there, petrified, the bull is scraping the ground with its front hoof, snorting, he throws the shopping the air and it scatters in the mud. Withnail: You haven't got a chance! Free to those who can afford it, very expensive to those who can't. [Marwood comes out of the bathroom wearing a towel]. It's you he wants. Apart from a raw potato, that's the only solid to have passed my lips in the last 60 hours. Marwood: Suits me. Marwood: You're looking very beautiful, man. No, I haven't got another. Withnail: Black puddings are no good to us. I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth. [he pulls Withnail's cigarette out of his mouth and puts it in his]. Monty clearly has some difficulty in reading the note. First thing we've got to do is get this fire alight, then we split into two fact-finding groups. I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum. Afrika Korps. Street: the embalmer. Withnail: (Paraphrasing Hamlet) I have of late but wherefore I know not lost all my mirth and indeed it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory; this most excellent canopy, the air look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire why, it appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapors. One of us has got to stay on guard. It is the most shattering experience of a young man's life when one morning he awakes and quite reasonably says to himself, "I will never play the Dane. It's a part I intend to play, Uncle. They can handle the caftan but they cannot handle the bell. I can't take aspirins without a drink. Best kill it quick before it tries to make friends with us. Withnail: Be seated. Reflecting these times. Marwood: [Heckles pedestrian] Throw yourself into the road, darling, you haven't got a chance! There is a certain je ne sais quoi - oh, so very special - about a firm, young carrotExcuse me Uncle Monty: I mean to have you, even if it must be burglary! Irishman: Uncle Monty: Here hare here here hare here! [leaning out the car window]
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