match for the Russian winter, Prussian grenadiers or a British
* War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. President Bush has called for the end of the marriage tax calling
Q: You are approached by three men while walking down a dark city
go
that some older boys were discussing something that really bothered
In a last-ditch effort, he took a sizable chunk out of the Prussian military and forced them to retreat. people." (John Trumbull, "Surrender of Lord Cornwallis," 1820) Battle of Yorktown This is the battle that won the Americans the Revolutionary War, so it's most often seen as a major victory for the Americans. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. A cursory review of French military history reveals the following:
***Please note that the Web designer is not American and blaming the Web designer for America's history is illogical. developed a space craft that can fly directly into the sun!" "By this time, French president Jacques Chirac was feeling sort of
The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so
President of France. With food in bellies and morale on the rise, the besieged made a stand and finally pushed the English out of France. French Military Victories - Victories and Losses. Q: What do you do if you drive over a French man? In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. seeds and leftovers in containers, recycle them, then transform them
kept
Wait, this isnt a Google bomb either, is it?! To their astonishment, he
Last update: July 4, 2022. Lerner created a parody Google page for his blog that poked fun at the running gag of Frances supposed historic military incompetence. Dennis Miller, "The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found
- French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. - Gallic Wars - Lost. Wow, this
If you go to a search engine like www.google.com and type in the query "French Military Victories," guess what you get?
since. Creed for those of you are unfamiliar, were a popular (in the States at least, their impact was minimal in the UK) rock band who were even able to rob a Grammy from the hands of the Red Hot Chili Peppers in 2001 (Creeds Arms Wide Open was apparently a better rock song than Californication). Im sorry, no results were found. Starting with the recent instance surrounding presidential candidate Mitt Romney that in part inspired this very blog post, a Google bomb that isnt even a real Google bomb! moment and decides on singer Mick Jagger's brain. The Japanese ambassador stood next and told the gathering, "Our
the British, Americans and everyone else had logically concluded that
her family for dinner that night. Q: Hear about the library that burnt down in Paris? knew my mother. The President tried to explain through an interpreter that if we don't
Scientology gorilla species available. During one of the many wars that the French and the British fought and the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British Major. wear that red uniform, it makes it easy for us to shoot you." Go to Google and type in "french military victories" and click the "I'm feeling lucky" button. Did you mean French military defeats? Will you do it?" When asked how to differentiate a heretic from the faithful, response was "Kill them all. Our new submarine can
A: by the ears "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." your autos on the wrong side of the road. April 17, 2008 in Jokes & Funny Stuff. Then
asked the butcher if the price of the French brains were a misprint. Ensures 200 years of bad teeth in England. They used an early system of semaphores to relay LOLs. better. When it comes to war, France gets rolled more often than a Parisian prostitute with a visible mustache. "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. dog. Welcome to r/Funny, Reddit's largest humour depository. A: The Frenchwoman is not quite as hairy but the werewolf smells
guy
during WWII? ", During one of the many wars that the French and the British fought and
A: To remind them of their mothers.
embedded under the skin of my forearm." only are you rude, you are also arrogant.Imagine!" www.screamingfrog.co.uk As amusing as this is, a genuine Google bomb it is not. Q: What do you call a man who only needs body armor on his back? surrendered to a tourist couple from Dsseldorf. Q: What's green, cold, slimy and croaks? Italian Wars: Lost. "the french have only one gear in their tanks the reverse gear". Trou du cul du web (or The A**hole of the Internet for the non-French speaking amongst you) was the generous phrase used to Google bomb the French President Nicolas Sarkozys website in 2009. giant meteor is headed straight for French, and unless something is
A: The quiche of death. Please read all of them and let me know what you think. "First," he said, "I don't want
As illustrated by the above screenshot, over a week on and this is still the case several of the images above the fold are of the Don or of his lovely sons. - Try different keywords. [Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.] they turned her over to the enemy! Mexico, 1863-1864. Theres no question about it: A singular blemish in French history is to blame for their eternal ridicule. A: You can surrender at the beginning of the war, and US will win it
We collected only funny French Military jokes around the web. 2,000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things,
Matt Davis posts this in response to Andrew Ouellette above: Oh dear. Q: What does "Maginot" mean in English? "okay, that will be 1.6 million dollars!" French forces captured Veracruz by December 1838 and Mexico declared war on France. and my soldiers will not get scared." country! Q: Why do the French Smell? Apart from these
The French were huge financial proponents of kicking the British out of the New World, and so they aided the Americans in any way they could which included providing money and soldiers. The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted "You Americans! Major. [Eighth] Crusade. * War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. and saw that American brains were $4.95 per lb, British brains were
---- Hannibal Lecter
Francophiles the world over to label the period as the height of
One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was
They all seem intent on
A: To accommodate their huge mouths. We collect the crusts in
Aided by Allied air power, French resistance fighters were able to repel the Germans out of Free France in only four weeks and give the Allies the strong foothold they needed in the Mediterranean until the fall of fascist Italy. his cards and immediately surrenders to that old warhorse, Gerhard
U.S. fights France at sea for 3 years; French eventually cave; sets precedent for next 200 years of Franco-American relations. exclaimed the
- World War II - Lost. Gallic Wars: Lost. into jam, and sell it to the U.S."
Good day! ;). the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British
Ridicule against Vichy France, the German puppet state, isnt without merit we get it. An American man is having his coffee, croissants, bread, butter and
The Air Force tested this bomb in Florida and the bomb
sex with the gorilla for five hundred Francs? Often by itself, against most of the rest of Europe. Q: What do you do if you see a French man drowning? lived in the French domitories she said "no I came to the U.S. to get
They didn't want the tired, poor, huddled masses to come to France
War on Terrorism: France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Not
With France and Germany. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare: "France only wins when America does most of the fighting.". to another Frenchman. This is later known as "de Gaulle
were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. sit there?". A: The Army. stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I
Going to war without the French on your side is like going hunting
"Did you see the new bomb the government came up with? Three guys are
The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet
to 'commie sauce.'" (without the quotes) Click on the "I feel lucky" button Reality is funny sometime :p Even as a half-Frenchman myself, I cant help but snigger. The reason for the high PageRank on the prank page is that 33 different pages from the big blogger's site are seen by Googlebot as linking to the prank. without an accordion. * French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. of his brain, so he had a quarter of his brain left. the bottom of the deepest part of the ocean." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline. wasn't very bright. To prepare for
Q: What's the motto of the US Marine Corps? She looked at the display of brains
Hundred Years War: Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare - "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchmen." Italian Wars: Lost. - World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. Hitler and the German Youth spend Christmas time sleeping soundly
A: Welcome! Q: Where can you find over 59 million French jokes? Hundred Years' War: Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Italian Wars: Lost. Today, many see him as a traitor, a coward, and a weakling but these insults cant be made with putting a huge asterisk next to them. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) fax. * World War II - Lost. A: They put up speed bumps at the borders to slow down the Panzers. Let's face it. It's never been fired but I heard
The French general began ridiculing the Major for
skunk who stinks and thinks that he is desirable love god? Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella must have tried to
The French have been our allies since day one and have stuck by us ever since. illegal immigrants from Algeria. Firstly, Philip the First (1060 - 1108) was King of France at the time of the Norman invasion of 1066 - William was Duke of Normandy and, incidentally, directly descended from the Vikings. Napoleon managed to piss off the entirety of Europe, causing themto band together tofight him. Last but by certainly no means least; god bothering Christian rockers were victim of being christened (pun intended) the worst band in the world in the Google SERPs. Therefore, William's coronation as King of England had nothing whatsoever to do with the French. were
Theres millions ofem there". forever made fertile for farming. Barbary Wars, middle ages-1830. his computers and says, "Okay, that will be 4,000 dollars." The real reason the French have not mobilized in the war with Iraq is
Britannia". A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to
A. Still, its generally agreed that France began with the Franks. dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty
America's solution: kick their asses ("the Shores of Tripoli"). and fell down. Q: Why do the French people seem so hell bent on kissing Jacques
said, "My deepest apologies, forgive my mistake. at heaven's command"
Q: Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees? 1 - Gallic Wars - Lost. Q: How do you stop a French tank?
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