we broke up and he got another girl pregnant

April 9, 2012, 6:41 pm, bittergaymark Nope, not at all, she just goes on living life unchanged. reader, haley 22+, writes (22 June 2008): A And its not because either sex is evil or worse than the other. Male victims being forced to pay child support, while extremely rare, I agree is sad and unfair to those boys. I Got Another Girl Pregnant Prank *WE BROKE UP SIGH*Hylton's family vlog - https://youtu.be/pV11uGFaESsItz The Taylor's - https://youtu.be/8hVLcR1kvrsSUBSCRI. When I could just as easily say, Its so easy for men to disappear after a pregnancy and never give financial support to their child.. This letter is written by someone who wasnt even involved in the conception of the child, so I dont believe there can be an objective reading of the circumstances. And whether you believe its a child at conception or not, its a scientific fact that conception is what, at the very least, leads to life. lets_be_honest But again the adoption makes that all moot. Then, again you seem a tad immature so maybe you deserve each other. The female of the species carry the offspring. For all you know she could be 35 and realize that this may be her one chance to have a baby. A dude youre dating barebacked someone while you were on a break and then came back to you and said he couldnt live without you. Sure sure you have sex, theres always the possibility of a child. I know, right? Its not a mystery. Dude and LW split, Dude meets Lady, Dude and Lady go home together. He didnt expect that to happen. Like I said, step back and evaluate this situation as if you were an outsider. And it seems to me that he isnt looking to get back together with you because hell die without you; it seems like hes trying to escape the clutches of responsibility by retreating to what he knows As in, someone who takes no issue with his immaturity and irresponsibility. He said hes willing to give that support, he just wont be there to actually raise his future child. Im not saying I think he should get any sort of say in it, but why are we so quick to deride his emotional response to an accidental life-altering event that, in his mind, could have been corrected, but isnt going to be due to someone elses decision? Call me crazy, but I dont see any partys reaction to this crazy. That would be the end of any sort of relationship sex. Women can choose whether to bind a man to support their child without the mans discretion. These Are The 5 Signs Your Ex Is In A Rebound Relationship. While I am pro-choice, I would never have an abortion. 2. If you dont like someone (as a fellow human being), dont have sex with them. Dont force him to be. 17. Neither are the kids, but thats beside the point where feminism is concerned, right? depressed, got back together, money. If I polled my high school, and under Forms of Contraception I included Pulling Out, Im estimating (based on the number of children at my last reunion) that would be about 70% of respondents methods. April 9, 2012, 5:24 pm, The mention of being logical for some reason made me think of the whole idea of true abandonment. But in some ways, youre making my point, Francine. Youre only asking for heartache down the road. Sorry to be so long-winded but it happens sometimes. Youre taking something he is saying pre-child and assuming that it is the reality of what will happen post-birth. His ex had gone through a lot of internal as well as external strugglesand became stronger and wiser. So it sounds like the mom here mustve been in a postiion to want and/or raise a child. Fuck yes, he shouldnt have a choice in that. Now, again, I dont see why it is so hard to let him go, and why you cant move on. If he didnt want to make a baby, he should have been wearing condoms or not having sex at all. 8 Red Flags that Her Pregnancy is a Trap. Its a double standard. IMO there are probably better ways to deal w/ the more egregious incidents of paternity fraud. -Tried to pressure her into getting an abortion Scenario 2. Women can decide to abort the pregnancy or to give the child up for adoption, both of which are choices that remove any future obligation. April 10, 2012, 6:58 pm. Personally, it doesnt sound like shes trying to trap your untrappable boyfriend into a relationship YOU are trying to trap him, or get rid of him, by telling him he should stay with her because its his kid (and then you go around calling her (the mother of your BFs child) scoat and such very classy)! I think difference is ensuring that the child is cared for. How about if I choose to opt out of THAT? Move on already, LW. If the other woman decides to have the baby, her now boyfriend will be liable for child support, which will significantly impact his finances (and their finances if they marry for the next 18 years. And more amazement with people who just cant live without a relationship with someone who has no concern about coitus with people outside of matrimony with people they just met.. You have no idea what youre talking about, with regard to child support. And the world goes round. Welcome to adulthood. I dont think anyones saying that. but he wants me and wants to marry me as he said all along It will have feelings too. James Felix ago. If a woman has sex with a man she should be prepared for the fact that it could result in her under going a medical proceedure, be it an abortion or childbirth. 1. in whether or not a child is a result here is what all you men should do at like age 18 or whatever. You should be furious with him and dump his ass! Please do better. You mean, a man shouldnt be able to decide to throw money at his child, but never once be involved whatsoever in the childs life?. It takes two to tango my dear your boyfriend is as much to blame as this woman. The way you talk, I gotta believe youre one of those disgusting pro-lifers who are always trying to control people. No. Oh no! Image Source. thus why I said troll label aside. bittergaymark SweetsAndBeats Again, not unusual, and since the LW and the guy were broken up, the LW has no claim to what the guy could do after the breakup. Agree. He delivered, at her request, one-half of a set of DNA blueprints. He said this is not gonna ruin us, but Im unsure. It actually makes me very sad. April 9, 2012, 4:44 pm. You have no opinion in this matter. I try t,o help because I remember when I was young. Why would you want a future with someone that could do something like that? When two people opt to have not conceive by mistake but instead carry through to birth a child, they should be obligated to that child. My ex-boyfriend had apparently broken up with a girl who was a.. You had no say in the matter.. wife pays debt sex video. There has to be a reason behind all this vitriol. That way you and only YOU get to decide which woman you deign to procreate with. So he literally now has to reap what he sows as the consequences of his actions. April 10, 2012, 7:06 pm. I think its the first time I am hearing someone smear another person for NOT having an abortion. entertaining for sure, but dont be so surprised when people call you out on it a la Landygirl. I knew, but loved him so much, forgave him & said wed give each other some space, but when I gave that space, he just went on ahead & made this lady pregnant. I am amazed at people who think abortion is wrong for religious reasons, but have no concerns about coitus with people outside of matrimony with people they just met for two minutes. reader, Lisa Belize+, writes (22 September 2009): A It was unplanned and a . Its unfortunate that he may potentially be a life-long relationship as parents with this woman, in addition to the legal responsibilities for the child, but any 40 year old man knows that is a potential risk. Stop insulting her and learn to see the situation for what it really is. April 9, 2012, 9:56 pm. And now I couldnt imagine life without my husband, but Im pretty sure Id live through it (and have) if he werent around. Will he react the same? Seriously, that is your interpretation of the male thought process? He has a responsibility to the baby, but thats as far as it goes. Ive been silent on this website a while, and by and large tend to agree with most of what is said, but I could not sit quiet as people suggested to a) force this man into parenthood, and b) suggest that this woman is incapable of being a single mother. Remember that episode when Rachel told Ross she was pregnant and he freaked out because they used condoms? February 6, 2017, 4:03 pm, Simalar to me.. we fell inlove from schol at 15 we kiss at 16 sex at 21 we separated for 5mths he saw another girl and she lie told him she was pregnant..she moved in his parents house..i said goodbye he came begging me ..he dont love her.tears tears .. the next month her period came her lie came in the openshe never left ..i have since moved on ..25yrs to dated he still beging me to come backi played a game with him recently ..i said i would leave my husband would u leave your wifeto be with mehe said yes yesdo u have money to buy a house for me like what u did for her.the silence was deafing.i hang up the phone.. playersmove on leave him alone, lets_be_honest No one is forcing any woman to have the child and much less to keep it. Hes not a victim, unless she raped him. Now, I highly doubt the LWs boyfriends baby mother to be is psychotic as my friends former hook up. im not disagreeing with you. That means from a mental, obvious, and circumstantial standpoint, the girl is at the disadvantage. He must be a complete scumbag, because no one ever has sex without a condom unless they intend to have children or are scumbags. Hes just not ready to start a family. It is possible to get pregnant on the pill if you dont take it at the same time everyday, so maybe use backup protection if youre fucking someone you dont know? . He wants nothing to do with his own child. I agree with a lot of what you have been saying, but he clearly states he will be a deadbeat father to the child in question from what the LW states which is the main reason for his villification. Its not some big secret that women have that option and that men are legally obligated to provide financially if she exercises that option. Im sure youll do a wonderful job! Plenty dont. Shed be less of a real woman if she left the kid on its fathers doorstep and went off footloose and fancy-free while he was left to raise it all alone. Im lucky that it has worked well for me and Im still childless, especially given the recent breakup and all. reader, yelyah77+, writes (16 April 2009): A Francine Her boyfriend has tripped over the third rail of reproductive rights, which is the question of mans obligations towards a woman who has become pregnant by deception. Theyve both made their choice. troll label aside, we do get together monthly and burn ex-boyfriends in effigy so hes got us there. And finally we see what youre doing ranting about paternity laws and mens rights on a relationship advice site. Pretty sure this: and he is furious with this woman for keeping the baby is the browbeat part. female This asshole is not the answer. Theres a fun scenario. I am curious what RR will have to say after some interesting points being made after her comments. theQuietOne Your logic is weird. My man (were not engaged anymore) begged to see his kids, and they met up and talked. Therefore, when having sex with a woman, you must assume that she could get pregnant and could keep it even though you dont want it; or on the flip side, abort it even though you dont want her to. He has made it clear that he wants a pregnancy to be terminated. As a child who was raised by my mother and saw neither hair nor hide of my biological father, who diligently paid child support, Ive turned out for the better. I just personally get outraged that this is the case: that he would have to pay support regardless, but that she can opt out of it. In my experience, both men and women tend to blame their romantic competitor for everything, no matter where the fault lies (have you ever seen the Jerry Springer show?). You don't say how long you have been together, but there's a reason that you broke up with him then. Everyone knows it. Ummm sorry your comparison is ridiculous because in that case its 100% the fault of the person eating at the restaurant. What the fuck ever. So sad that anyone would think its even necessary to implement such a system. 1) Like it or not, men have one point where they can decide whether or not to risk becoming parents (ie before sex, they choose the degree of risk based on what, if any, precautions they take). Consider that this is the kind of guy that has casual sex with people he doesnt really know/like while on break from a relationship with someone he cant live without. Rather than holding him responsible, you have focused on the other women. Nothing about that makes him the definition of immature or of an asshole. Yes, no birth control is perfect, blah blah. And yes it a double standardoh wait men dont have uteruses, silly me. April 10, 2012, 7:42 pm. April 10, 2012, 7:15 pm. I cant imagine what my friend would have had to deal with if that was his child and he had to have dealt with her for 18 years. April 10, 2012, 4:50 pm. This guy isnt worth anyones time. Why? Dont engage in the action. My takeaway from this is that men should never have sex unless theyre sterile or want to have children, and even then they should never have sex unless they plan to never have sex with a different person in the future because there is absolutely no way to avoid all sexually transmitted diseases aside from the complete lack of sexual contact. I will chalk you up as being an internet hairpuller. Malarky. And not even the most important part. April 12, 2012, 2:41 am. personally i think this is a confusing, gray area that Im not sure I know the answer to. Wanting nothing to do with his child, which like it or not seems to be coming, is not acceptable- and a mature girlfriend would help him to see that these are the cards hes been dealt, and that he now has to work with them. In the future, if I should ever have the desire to date again I would use condoms in addition to birth control to make sure I dont get diseases. While it is true he has no obligation to someone hes broken up with, he does have an obligation to not go around making babies with women he doesnt even know. Is it 100% fair to men or women? At this point I dont think it matters how this woman got pregnant: she did. You know, I dont have much patience this morning, so I (somewhat) apologize if my reply reeks of snark. And we dont really know that she actually said shes on the pill or if she is indeed really pregnant or if the lw truly wants him to go off and marry the other woman. This was even more of a scandal in a small town in the 70s than it would have been today, but she decided to keep the baby. Month later, Lady finds out shes preggers. Women have figured that game out, and it sucks. Find someone without baggage. You deserve better. Im pretty surprised by some of the stances shes made on this thread and I do enjoy and almost always agree with her comments. Well put. Furthermore, men should be held at least halfway responsible for the resulting pregnancy and child but should have no authority to decide upon his involvement, even though consensual sex involves both people equally. I would suggest that the man under discussion would not be sponge-worthy. He didnt give you another child. Ive seen malarky thrown around quite a bit in this thread. So, really, I guess I disagree with the majority of the comments here. I think that the thing to keep in mind is that the angry ranters are really just a very vocal minority. I just found out 4 days ago that my ex got a girl pregnant. So go control them all you please. The choice to get pregnant was mutual. April 9, 2012, 1:28 pm. Well, there are more than a million people who have been unexpectedly pregnant in this country, so arguably those risks are higher. He should be angry at himself for choosing to take his chances, knowing the possible outcomes. I was devastated. Perhaps youd like to refute them instead of going the easy route and calling him a troll simply because he disagrees with you. Thats my advice. caitie_didnt I highly doubt thats what shes doing considering shes only known him for two minutes., SweetsAndBeats April 10, 2012, 6:08 pm. Sue Jones And if by some chance she does get pregnant itll be difficult but theyre going to get married someday anyway so theyll just start their family earlier than planned. I think that it does, as most have pointed out, take two people to get pregnant. She told him she got pregnant on the pill, which I think is a lot of cod wallop. I mean, I know guys are suppose to stick up for guys, but come on.. He made his feelings clear to her when she was only two weeks pregnant, telling her they havent been together two minutes! I must be bloody kidding myself. A human being on this earth that is 50% like you. We do live in a world where your opinion on one thing may not in fact be the most correct or perhaps their might even be two sides, both reasonable and rational positions to take. I always thought that had to be a mutual decision. landygirl Unfortunately, your boyfriend may have gotten another woman pregnant. And yes, women do use the laws to trap men into financing their lifestyle of choice (as a single mother).. LW, your BF impregnates another woman AND you think that you are entitled to an opinion about whether she should keep her unborn child? I think it is unfair that the man cant have sex without the possibility of becoming a parent, but the woman can.. Even if shes a lunatic psycho who got pregs on purpose, you have no one to blame but your boyfriend. savannah So, you read the letter and all of the replies and what you got out of it is that a guy got a girl preganant who he doesnt want to be with his entire life and everyone responding considers him a jackass because of that? If you were thinking about breaking up with herthe pregnancy might be a trap. April 10, 2012, 7:01 pm. Medications interfere with birth control, not taking it at the same time and whole other host of reason why she could have legitimately gotten pregnant on birth control. Its not exactly the same by any means, but similar enough for me to have thought it. It would have been way happier if its bottles didnt explode. Fine. And if this woman buys that line, shes a moron too. Hey, say what you want about the letter but dont diss my Twilight!!! hi there! Both have to accept responsibility for that. Or, hey, maybe they were both tested, maybe they were both clean, and maybe he believed her, and maybe she actually was on the pill. You seem upset at biology that women are the ones that carry the children and and therefore has the ability to decide or not to continue on with a pregnancy whereas a guy doesnt have that same right. Those are very different things. bittergaymark To be fair, the pregnant woman could be an idiot too but the only info we have about her is that she participated in sex with the LWs bf after knowing him a short time, says she was on birth control and is now pregnant and planning to raise the child. She asked what to do with this guy. Guy Friday What should I do, View related questions: And at 40 years of age, he should know how babies are made and if he didnt want kids, maybe he should have considered getting snipped? Its one thing that he says he will pay for it (Im assuming this means child support), but a true father doesnt just look at this as a once a month payment for 18 years. April 9, 2012, 10:04 pm. He gets a girl pregnant and then tells her to get rid of it because its an inconvenience for him to have to deal with it? Chuck Pelto Aim for the face. Abortion is safe and legal, right? I dont care. but all those prominent male politicians usually turn out to be gay and not hetero at all.. bittergaymark Nothing about that makes him a bad person. Courts are loath to do anything but joint custody unless one of the parents is an absolute idiot. Not that hes upset about the situation but furious with this woman. ! And then of course Ross WE WERE ON A BREAK meltdown. You moved and hoped he would come chasing you. We dont even know that this other woman told the bf that she is pregnant. April 9, 2012, 2:14 pm. And this is the problem with having sex in a non-monogamous relationship and not fully protecting yourself. He didnt expose her to STDs. 2. I give up. bittergaymark I (28F) found out that my boyfriend (30M) is talking to another girl, just a day after we broke up (no proper closure). He was clearly having unprotected sex with at least one other person. So tough shit. i am currently in an awful situation. Placement deals with where they are physically. Go on about it all you want though. I almost lost the fingers on my right hand from it. Um please feel free to disregard teh account representative, that may have been for something else haha. Take this as a lesson learned. The system you propose that if conception is not by mistake and if the man does not decide early on that he doesnt want to be responsible, then he should be obligated to that child is the craziness system ever. I agree with you regarding being a part of the childs life but I dont agree with you on the money aspect. Reading your letter, you sound really immature and not ready to be kn a relationship with a man that has a child. April 10, 2012, 7:35 pm. Where does the stork fit in? We started dateing again and have been for about 3 months and we have plans to save money and get an apartment. LW, your anger is misdirected. There is no rhyme or reason. The primary relationship in someones life is allowed to (and should) remain the primary relationship, even after the later appearance of children. At least, as a woman, you have that option. But it also tries to say that the man had a part in creating the child. honeybeenicki You know, if he was tricked its not surprising that he would say these things.